The feeling of Christopher Columbus

6.30 a.m. I wake up with a start and look around. I've started feeling homesick already. Enough of this darn trek, enough of the crappy food, enough of me having to plod on for endless hours on a weathered trail. Nice way to start a day, with all negativities in mind. What would I have done at home at this time in the morning? Maybe I would have watched some TV, or rolled over and slept again, or even better, gone for a stroll in the terrace. And after this, I would have come down to have some of Mom's excellent ginger tea - having just about the right proportions of every ingredient. Sigh!
KKKKKKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - the whistle sounds.
"BREAKFAST IS READY!"
One day during this trek I'm gonna take that whistle from whoever is sounding it and stuff it down his throat!
KKKKKKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"BREAKFAST IS READY! COME QUICK!"
It had better be a nice one, you nitwit! And stop sounding that bloody whistle, for God's sake!
So, I go down to see what this breakfast is. Wonderful - puri and aloo. Especially the aloo and its digestional benefits. I'm not gonna risk any oily food today. Better stick with the bland Maggi they give at the "paid canteen".
I go there only to find half my friends finishing their Maggis in half quick time than usual.
"Dei, how much da one Maggi?"
"30 rs machan."
"What?!"
"Its pretty cheap da, considering you are having it here at 11000 feet. These people say the prices become higher the higher you go."
"Oh. Cha. Didi, ek Maggi."
The bland Maggi is exceptionally bland today, and I have no idea what it is going to do to me for the next 24 hours.
Next I go to the tent, and find one of my friends searching for something.
"Dei, what are..." KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!
"DEPOSIT THE SLEEPING BAGS IN THE FIRST TENT!! WE ARE STARTING IN A WHILE!!"
You never get a gap between the timetable during this trek.
This is when my tummy signals to me - "Hey, mister! I'm overloaded, and wanna unload a bit. I don't care if you want to or not, but I'll keep troubling you till you get my work done! Ha Ha!"
So I rush to deposit the sleeping bags, and take a shortcut to my tent, only to find that there are no spare bottles available.
My brain says - "Take the drinking water bottle da. You can use that water and get another bottle anytime."
I search frantically for the bottle and find it finally after a ten minute fight with my rucksack. No water.
"Don't despair. Go to the tap at the far end of the camp, beyond the kitchen tent. No one must be there at this time. Get your bottle filled there."
And I run all the way to the other end of the camp, all the while pleading with my stomach not to give up. I cross the kitchen tent and turn, expecting a queue to be there. To the contrary, there is just a single person filling up his bottle. I heave a sigh of relief and go to fill my bottle, when he gets up and utters a possible heart-attack statement - "Water is empty i guess. Not coming through this pipe."
I look at the pipe. Drops of water fall from it. With extreme optimism, I begin the painstakingly slow process of filling up my bottle. Around ten minutes later, the bottle has a little bit of water in it. I can't hold on anymore. This water ought to be enough.
I have to descend a few feet before I can enter the area of crapping. I start my downward journey when i suddenly remember I have forgotten the tissue paper. Another sprint back to the tent.
Finally I'm all set to go and start going downwards when I see Punk Maxx crossing me. A bad omen. I ignore this omen and continue going downwards. A fellow trekker stares at me and asks - "Is that little water enough for you?"
A hurried nod and I rush towards the Twin Toilet Towers. They are basically cuboids made of thick canvas, which enclose a squat toilet. Personally I think these were bought from Hitler before his death. You could suffocate to death in those things if you stay in there for too long. Courtesy the lack of water supply.
I try entering into one of the Toilet Towers, but the stench is so overpowering that I run off, thinking it best to settle my nature's call in nature itself.
But there is a big problem involved in this.
I'm not the only one who does this. Almost half the trekkers do the same. Not allowing such petty things to dishearten me, I follow the path that leads to Crap Graveyard. Pretty much every square inch of this place had been used up by the time I got there. Disgust wells within me thinking of what I have to do now. I succumb and try finding a spot in this mess. A wasted yet lonely spot is selected. I look around. No one is nearby. Atleast not as far as my eye can see. However, there is a big rock some distance from me (I had come pretty far), beyond which someone "might" be there. Then I said to myself - "Oh come on. No one goes that far." Yeah. No one goes that far.
Wait a minute! No one goes that far!! That means...........yes of course!!
I sprint to the rock and look beyond it to see endless meadows of green. Pure, unspoiled untarnished. A virgin place, you could say. No human..sorry, trekker has ever set foot or anything here. What a discovery! The rock was a huge protrusion from the mountain, offering ample cover on all three sides. The perfect spot had been found!
At this point, inside me, I understood how Christopher Columbus, or Vasco da Gama, or Marco Polo, or any other explorer/discoverer would have felt. It is truly a remarkable feeling, discovering something (though it necessarily need not be for such purposes as mine).
;-)